Trentside Tales - Nottingham Forest F.C & Notts CCC
- Neil Harrison
Funniest Chants
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11th May 2013 - As I was doing my run this morning, I was thinking of any enhancements I could make to my website and came up with a 'funniest chants' section. I would argue that some of the most amusing things you could ever hear can be heard on football terraces, at times with incredible spontaneity.
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Through the decades, at times, chants have been,lets say, 'a little naughty or below the belt'. More often than not most of these are usually 'tongue in cheek' and very humourous. I certainly do not include some of the vile racist chanting that was commonplace in the 70s and 80's, that has never been and never will be remotely amusing and there is no place for it anywhere ever. Thankfully, we have largely moved on from anything resembling those disgusting dark times.
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So, I propose to randomly recite some of the funniest chants I can remember hearing. I am sure that some will come to me at different times; I am sure I will have forgotten some & of course there will be those that all fans of all teams will have sung at some point. There will be some though that were 'one offs' &/or perhaps unique to your own club. So, here we go:
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13/12/79 - Nottm Forest 3-1 Brighton - League Cup Quarter-Final
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Brighton were riding high in the 2nd Division and would be promoted to the top flight at the end of the season. On this night they gave us a real run for our money...on 50 minutes they were level at 1-1. With Forest 3-1 up however, they made their substitution. Now in 1979, you were only allowed one and he would always have the number 12 shirt.
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He had not been on the pitch long, when he squandered a golden opportunity to get Brighton back into the game ... "super sub" echoed out from the terraces by the Forest fans, a sarcastic ditty ... David Fairclough of Liverpool had rightly been dubbed 'the super sub' accurately reflecting his prowess of coming off the bench and scoring vital goals.
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A few more minutes elapsed before the Brighton player then missed a second golden opportunity ... this time the chants from the Forest fans were even more cutting ... "That's why he's number 12" ... a regular City Ground Chant at the time was "That's why he's number One" which usually followed another excellent Peter Shilton save and making the link between him being the best goalkeeper in England and possibly the world.
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At the time, it was very very funny, not so for the poor old Brighton player, Clark.
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12/4/95 - Norwich City 0-1 Nottm Forest - Premier League
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​Norwich fans attemting to bait Stan Collymore with chants of "You'll never play for England" ... Forest fans retort ... "He'll never play for Norwich"
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Our League One Seasons & Still now even though back in the Championship
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​Opposition fans all chant at Forest "You're not famous anymore" ... a wonderful retort ..."You're not famous anyway" ...
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There is a realisation here of course that all opposition fans seem to acknowledge, if only by definition that we once were!
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Universally Sung by All...
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​Ever since I started going to Forest back in the 67/68 season, all opposition fans sung "We hate Nottingham Forest" to the tune of Land of hope & glory" ... this is for the most part of course simply because it rhymes ... we do have a good comeback though ... "And Nottingham Forest hate you ... you bastards"
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29/10/77 - Nottm Forest 4-0 Middlesbrough - Division One
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​At the previous last home league game against Man City, top of the table Forest had beaten Man City 2-1 in front of 35,572 in a top of the table encounter. Cloughie was livid however and berated the Trent End in the press following the game based on the bad language and the antagonistic chants directed at the City throughout the game trying to provoke trouble. Before this game, he had the famous sign brought out which read "Gentelman, No Swearing Please" ... Brian. The Trent End initially took up the challenge responding with "who the flipping hell are you" at Middlesbrough. Later on in the season with the speculation of Cloughie going to manage England, the fans produced a board which read "Brian, no leaving please" ... The gentleman ... but that's another story.
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Anyhow, to continue with this ... next home league game ... v Man Utd ...5 minutes in and we are 0-1 down ... The Trent End blast out "You're gonna get your flipping heads kicked in" ... at the time of course all fans would chant "you're gonna get your fucking heads kicked in (& you sometimes did) whenever the opposition scored etc. I think that suggets we had probably not fully grasped Cloughie's sentiments ... but it was a start. BC would go on to to have a fantastic relationship with the Trent End ... occasionally ripping in to them when, in his eyes, they stepped too far out of line. For the record, we won the game 2-1.
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I stood on the Trent End terraces from the early to mid 1970's right through to the end of the 1991/92 season before temporarily moving to the Brian Clough (then Executive Stand) whilst the new Bridgford Stand was being finished off, as I felt I had earned a seat! I was now 31!
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We stayed there for a number of seasons before moving back to the 'new' Trent End for the 2000/01 season, and have remained there ever since: T2 back row between the 'R' and the 'E'.
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We have a black and white framed photograph of the old Trent End hanging proudly above our fireplace in our living room ... with the epitaph "Gone but not forgotten" ... that phrase can be attributed to so many things in life! In this case the picture was taken the day before it was knocked down at the end of the 1993/94 season. I know I have gone off at a bit of a tangent here but all very nostalgic for me.
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Universally Sung at the present time ...
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One of the more recent chants does always amuse me (probably wrongly!) but wherever we are playing ... that place "is a shit hole, I wanna go home." An example ... "Derby's a shit hole, I wanna go home"
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​3/1/09 - Man City 0-3 Nottm Forest - FACup 3rd Round
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​On a day where large amounts of piss were taken ... a couple of the Forest chants spring to mind ... "You might be rich but you're fucking shit" And whilst we had sold our 6,500 allocation, the attendance of 31,669 was not lost on the Forest fans with chants of "Your grounds too big for you" ... I appreciate that most clubs do that one"
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9/4/12 - Peterborough 0-1 Forest - Championship
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​Ha, someone reminded me of the Andy Reid chant here ... "He'll eat what he likes. he'll eat what he likes" ... but at the same game "George Elokobi, he'll eat you alive"
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and how could I forget ... 16/3/13 - Hull City 1-2 Forest
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​To George Boyd ... "He's only got one eye" ...
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The Forest v Liverpool Rivalry, especially between season's 1977/78 & 1979/80
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​Having taken their League Title from them in 1977/78, and also defeating them in the League Cup Final the same season, we followed this up in 78/79 by knocking them out in the 1st Round of the European Cup.The following season, we met them in the league at the CG... 29/9/79 and again beat them 1-0. With both sides in the European Cup again for the 79/80 season (Forest as holders and Liverpool as Champions of England), Forest were looking at comfortably progressing to Round 2 with a 2-0 lead against Osters to take to Sweden for the 2nd leg, whereas Liverpool were either out or about to go out in the 1st Round again ... The Trent End sang "You're always out in the 1st Round" ...
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Other commonplace chants were directed between the two sets of fans at all of the games, but another amusing one ... "I'd rather be a muppet than a scouse" was mildly amusing, as was "come and get your giro" not to mention "Sign on, sign on, with a pen in your hands & You'll never work again, you'll never work again" ... obviously to "You'll never walk Alone" ... These most likely were sung by most clubs playing Liverpool of course.
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Can anyone remember, their player Sammy Lee? ... "He's fat, he's round, he bounces on the ground Sammy Lee"
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As we continued to get the better of them over this 3 year period, especially as we won 2 back to back European Cups, I do believe that as we progressed through the rounds the "Are you watching Liverpool?" chants started in Nottingham ... they would reciprocate however in later years as the balance of power shifted back to them but for 3 years, we certainly ruffled their feathers.
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I will tell a Garry Birtles story from his later years, when he was co-commentating on a Liverpool game at Anfield ... and getting some abuse from a Scouser in the stands. There is a big flag displayed on Liverpool's Kop which bears all of the 5 times they have won the European Cup ... 1977 1978 1981 & I think 1984 & 2005. Birtles calmy leans over to the Scouser and points to the 1st 3 in a 5 year period and says ... "you see those 2 gaps" ... absolute quality!
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Derby v Forest - 2008/9 Season - 4 meetings - The Kris Commons song:
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​Oh Commons is a Judas, he said he was a Red
But then he said, I'd rather be a sheepshagger instead
He waddles down the left wing, he waddles down the right,
He'll never play for us again, because he's fucking shite ...
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And then ... Derby v Forest - 13/3/12 at Pride Park:
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​Not a song but the Tyson hand signals when he went down injured ... again ... calling on the trainer etc - It even made the Derby fans laugh! More recently, at Millwall on 27th April 2013, this hand gesture was accompanid by the chant "let's all do the Tyson..."
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There will have been so many insults traded between the 2 sets of fans but another that springs to mind is following our 2-0 win there as both sides battled for promotion in the 1993/4 season. Whilst not credited as an own goal as such, it was ex-Forest, sold to Derby defender Gary Charles who gifted us a goal to the chant of "Gary Charles, Gary Charles, Gary Gary Charles, when he gets the ball he scores own goals Gary Gary Charles" ...
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One of my all time favourites ... "Brian Clough's a football genius, David Platt's a fucking Idiot" ... quality!
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England fans in Euro 2000
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​A bit naughty perhaps, but England had won one and lost one of their first two games of Euro 2000. As was still the case back in 2000, the England fans tended to reap havoc wherever they travelled and Euro 2000 was no exception. There had been mass outbreaks of violence involving England fans in Holland & Belgium, who were co-hosting the tournament, especially before during and after England's 1-0 win against Germany in the second game.
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Anyhow in the 3rd & final game against Romania, England needed either a win or a draw (I cant quiet remember) but nearing half time & playing poorly, trailed 1-0. Two quick goals however,before the interval, gave us a 2-1 lead...
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Ahead of the game, the press were slating the England fans 'send the scum England fans home' or words to that effect ... the half time chant from the England fans did amuse me "We're not going home, we're not going home" rang out. We went on to lose the game 3-2 with a late penalty and we were indeed coming home.
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Next Up ... Not a funny chant but one sung with great pride by all Forest fans ... and pretty unique! ... almost ...
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"We went to Europe, we won the Cup twice" ...still can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up
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7/1/76 - Peterborough 1-0 Forest - FACup 3rd Round Replay
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​Not quite so friendly this one but none the less a little impressionable on a nearly 15 year old, pissed off by being knocked out of the Cup by a 3rd Division side ... "We're gonna smash your fucking houses in" rang out from the travelling thousands.
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30/3/13 - Forest 2-2 Brighton - Championship
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​I am aware of political correctness in the 21st Century but sometimes I do believe it can be taken too far & in my opinion this has been the case recently with interviewing Brighton fans about the 'jibes' aimed at them around thier sexuality. For whatever reason, historically Brighton has been tagged with this link to a favoured 'haunt' of 'gay' people. I'm sure it is more in myth than reality but none the less it is something that football fans have picked up on.
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I don't think for one minute that 99.99% of people making such chants bear any malice whatsoever to Brighton fans or anyone's sexuality, and it really is just a 'bit of fun'. We should all be able to laugh at ourselves at times and we all laugh at sick jokes that usually follow any kind of major incident - that does not mean we don't care about the incidents or victims. To Australian's we are 'Pommie Bastards' but I reckon that is almost a term of endearment. Whenever Forest play a Yorkshire or Welsh team we are called 'Scabs'... & so it goes on.
So then I reckon the chants of "We can see you holding hands" & "Town full of Poofta's" should not be blown out of proportion. Especailly funny recently was at the end of this game with 'A Block's' Chants of "We came from behind, we came from behind, just as you like it, we came from behind" as Forest equalised late on and twice 'came from behind' in the game. Perhaps life should not always be taken too seriously?
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6/2/99 - Forest 1-8 Man Utd - Premier League
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​Man Utd fans singing "Big Fat Ron, What a difference you have made" ... to Ron Atkinson, brought in as caretaker Manager until the end of the season ... this being his 3rd game in charge.
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Project forward 2 weeks later to the next home game against Chelsea ... Forest fans chant "You're only 2-1 up" ... as the teams went in for half time ... Chelsea retort "We've only played one half" ... Final score 1-3.
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27/11/95 - Forest 1-1 Man Utd - Premier League
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​As the 1995/96 season unfolded, Forest soon became the last English side competing in Europe. Having taken a lead in this game on 19 minutes, a lead held until the 66th minute when Cantona equalised with a dubious penalty. Whilst leading, the Forest fans chanted "1-0 up and still in Europe" baiting the Man Utd fans: Man Utd already being eliminated & alternatively "1-0 down and out of Europe". This was repeated at other games as the season progressed depending on how the game was going &/or who we were playing along with "One team in Europe, there's only one team in Europe"
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Project forward to 19/3/96 - Forest 1-5 Bayern Munich - EUFA Cup Quarter-Final 2nd Leg (Aggregate 2-7) With minutes to go on the clock the Forest fans sang "5-1 down & still in Europe" ... very amusing on a difficult night.
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18/9/07 - Forest 2-3 Leicester - League Cup 2nd Round
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​This game was a 'replayed tie' ... the original being abandoned at half time with Forest leading 1-0 following Leicester's Clive Clarke collapsing in the dressing room at half time. Leicester sportingly allowed Forest keeper Paul Smith to walk through from the kick off to give us a 1-0 lead ... Forest fans sang "Megson Megson, What's the score"
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A little naughtier back in 2002/03 season ... Ex Red, now with Leicester for this game, Alan Rogers was thrown Mars Bars from 'A' Block ... not at him but to him. This was to reflect his portly build and the fact he was very quick to leave Forest for Leicester. Result 2-2.
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10/8/02 - Portsmouth 2-0 Forest - Division One (2nd Tier)
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​Not a chant, but this was the opening game of the season & Paul Merson was playing for Portsmouth. They had a corner attacking the away end where there were some 3,000 Forest fans. For whatever reason, we were predominately all sitting down (unusual at our away games) but one Forest fan stood up and mimicked throwing a couple of pints down his neck ... Paul Merson had well documented previous alcohol problems ... to his credit he saw the Forest fan and just cracked up laughing. A funny moment.
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The Ashes - England v Australia - Barmy Army Songs
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​http://www.barmyarmy.com/songs/?id=23 England's Barmy Army Ashes Songs
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http://www.barmyarmy.com/songs/ And other Barmy Army Songs
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I also remember that amazing 4th Ashes Test Match between England & Australia at Trent Bridge in 2005. Day 4 & Australia's Michael Kattich grinding out runs playing a very defensive game ... England fans chant "Can you hit it off the square" ... I follow the England Cricket team quite a lot and have been to many many games and believe me there are some hialrious moments at Cricket too.
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Some Generic Chants
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​I don't propose to list many of the thousands out there ... but chants like how "How shit must you be, we're winning away" & "You used to play for a big club" often amuse me.
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In the 70's and 80's you would often get chants of "You're going home in a bus with no windows in" & "You'll never make the station" or we'll see you all outside amongst similar variations and others. One unique to Forest at this time was whoever we were playing asking the question "can you swim" making reference to getting thrown in the Trent. Regards this actually happening on a regular basis was more in myth than reality although there were many pitched battles behind the Trent End on the banks of the river during this time ... and at the other end of the ground too on Radcliffe Road.
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Thought the Paul Evans song was an amusing one ...
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He Always gets the Ball ...
We signed him for fuckall ...
Paul Evans .... oh oh oh oh
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Not a funny chant ... but a mildly amusing moment ... an away game at Tranmere a few years ago ... We went up to sit on the back row and were "greeted" by a steward who grunted "You can't sit there" ... On this occasion I could not be bothered to argue so we just sat on the 2nd to back row instead.
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A few minutes later, some lads came up and also attempted to sit on the back row, only for the same steward to grunt the same words ... to which one of the lads said "what you put fucking seats there for then" ... needless to say, the steward had no answer.
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At the time it certainly made me chuckle!
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